Did she say yes?
Her name's Zoe. Meeting her at 11:00.
What do you think of when you hear the phrase, "You can't beat me?"
Um, sex?
Damn.
Death trap.
Always be prepared.
Oh, yeah.
Goddamn!
God! Thank you, Jesus.
Oh, God! Jesus!
If you have a soul, you will help me.
You know how war photographers can't interfere no matter what atrocity is being committed...
No!
You will burn in hell for this.
Help! Help!
- Burrows? - Help!
- Sorry.
And I didn't even think you knew how to have a good time!
I was just, the... It was... I was trying to avoid the...
Let's just skip the explanations and get you down.
Wait a minute. You just stood there, not helping him?
Well, see, the main ethic of documentary film prevents me from...
That's a really expensive camera you've got there.
Yeah, actually. Kind of is. No, please don't. No, please don't.
Let's just try to get you down.
What do you think of when you hear the phrase, "You can't beat me?"
Please don't ask me that right now.
No, wait... Ooh! Wait, wait, don't!
Yeah, but this is where the knot is. I have to.
Look, I'm real flattered, but that is not gonna help loosen anything up right now.
It's the straps. I mean the the circulation.
Oh, boy. Okay, I got an idea. I have an idea.
- Yeah? - Yeah. Okay.
- What? - One, two, three!
- Ow! God! - Are you okay there?
Hello?
- Michael? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah. He's right here.
It's your date.
- Hello? - Hello?
Oh, hi. It's you. Yeah.
Uh, that was my business partner. We're just...
Well, she's helping me... ...making me...
- Ah! God! - Are you okay?
Just figured something out. Ah, yeah. Yeah.
That's it!
Good. There's this Polynesian place around the corner.
They make really big drinks, and you can share them, and they have live music.
- It's sort of like Don Ho. - Yeah. Listen.
I'm right in the thick of... In the middle of something.
I think I should be with you shortly.
Yeah. Okay.
Bye.
Next time, try a bath. Have fun.
Thank you.
I give you such a perfect song, and you blow it?
I can barely walk, much less anything else.
Last night actually explained so much.
- I have a theory. - Really? Thank you, Dr. Freud.
No, seriously. You are so obsessed with these Darwin cases...
that you are actually becoming one.
I think she's got a point.
No, I don't want Marcus, and I don't want the bodyguard.
We'll be landing in 10 minutes, sir.
Christ, man, who's flying the plane?
I just put it on autopilot, ma'am.
Oh. Autopilot. Fantastic.
No. Marcus just got Carla a brand-new international driving license...
and we're going to rough it in the wilds of America.
The controls on the dash are... The red button there is the cruise control.
Cruise control? What's that?
- Cruise control is... It's like autopilot. - Oh, brilliant!
Then you have the...
You know? I think I'm really getting the hang of this.
- My last experience at the dentist was a nightmare. - I get that a lot.
There's no reason to be worried.
We're a team. We're a team.
- Darling, do you want another drink? - Magic, lovey, magic.
Magic. Yeah. I'm going to put you on a little autopilot, lovey.
Go do your thing.
Darling...
I've got a lovely surprise for you.
That's very nice.
Who's driving the van?
It's on autopilot.
Oh, fuck.
I don't know if I made this clear enough...
but we're not going anywhere until we get a statement.
My lawyer says because of a pending malpractice suit, I can't make any statement.
How am I supposed to...
I'll take a written statement from you, Mr. Harris. Thank you.
You know what this is? This is the medical report.
It's got your dental impressions.
And, well, I mean, your wearing a diaper makes it pretty goddamn obvious what happened.
And frankly, I don't give a shit if you're too embarrassed to talk about it.
What my partner means to say is, we need a moment alone.
Lesions on the base of the penis! Come on!
- Come on, what? - She was giving him head!
And you say my theories are out there!
It's bullshit! She gave him a blow job!
You know these X-factor types of yours?
They may die young, but they sure have more fun in the process.
Okay, I admit your theory on that case had some probability of...
Oh, come on. It was obvious from the get-go.
No. Yesterday, 11:33 a.m, you said it's 99.9% probable...
she was giving him a... ...giving him a...
Blow job.
You know, I still wonder if it's even physically possible while driving...
Oh, believe me. It's possible. You want me to show you?
Whoa! No, stop! It's all right. Okay, I admit you're right. You're right.
That's all it took?
Christ, I thought I was gonna have to solve the energy crisis or something...
- to ever hear you say that. - Funny.
Oh! Hey, if we wanna make it to Tacoma tonight we better take the interstate.
Interstate goes over a 6,000-foot pass.
It'll be ice this time of year. This road will connect us to the state highway in no time.
All right, this cannot be the right way. The road is actually turning to dirt.
Everything's under control.
There's a cattle grate up ahead. That means there's ranches around here.
Ranches?
Okay, and we don't have a spare?
One. Car's also stuck in the grate.
Excellent! My fucking battery's dead.
- No signal. - So what's the plan?
We just wait around here until it gets dark and somehow our signal gets better?
You know, I take a lot of crap from you for being prepared.
For thinking ahead. But you're about to feel like a real idiot.
This balloon...
filament wire and helium.
See, the wire acts like a long antenna, and I now have a signal.
Oh, come on. Come on. Come on.
Oh, it's too damp.
Fuck.
Remember a few years back, wasn't there, like, a couple...
who ran out of gas on a desolate road...
and they didn't find their bodies until...
- That's it. There's a gas can in the car. - Do you remember?
I got it.
- Do it. Just... - I'm gettin' warm.
Okay.
You are one of these sorry-ass Darwin cases.
Should we move near the car for heat?
No, the embers from the tires could ignite the gas tank at any moment.
So what that, that phrase?
"Beat me"... something?
- Yeah. - What is that?
Written by a perp who I let get away.
Only a matter of time before he hurts someone again.
I'm sorry about what I said before.
- It's just our car blew up, and... - Yeah, I know. I understand.
You're right. I'm...
I'm beginning to relate to these Darwin cases a little too well.
It happens.
I have a secret...
something I've never told anyone before.
Oh, shit. I'm out of tape! Damn it.
Oh, my God.
That's the most incredible thing I've ever heard. I...
I have a cell phone.
And it has signal too.
- What? - Yeah.
What? Wh-What?
I have a cell phone.
- You have a... Show you... - No, please don't.
- Please don't. - I could ram a spork up your ass!
Gesundheit. Or bless you. Whatever.
Thanks.
How do they do it?
What?
People with normal lives. How do they make that happen?
You got me. Why? Is that, like, something you hope for?
I never hope.
Too disappointing.
It's amazing.
Some people bring danger on themselves no matter what precautions they take...
while others seem immune to the dangers of the world.
They do everything wrong, take no precautions...
cause death, damage to property.
Yet they still live to tell about it.
Come on, dude. Let's go!
Simon! Did you steal my pot again?
No! Relax, Mom. I'll be back by 11:30.
Get back here, you little shit!
- Hi, Mrs. Simon. - Oh, hi, Farley. How are ya?
Let's go!
- Got the tickets? - Getting them from Jimbo at the parking lot.
- Fuck, dude! - Relax, man.
He'll be there. Whoo!
Metallica! Whoo!
- Metallica! - Yeah, dude. We're here, man.
Yeah! Nice parking space, dude.
He told me he'd be here by 8:00.
He's not fuckin' comin', man.
Listen to that. Metallica's taking the stage, and we're in the goddamn parking lot, man.
They're not comin' back for two years.
I'll probably be dead or married by then.
Hey! Hey. You wanna sell your tickets?
- No way. - Dude, 200 bucks.
- Nah. - Dude, 200 bucks...
killer weed.
All right, man. There's no price on this kind of experience.
- Dude, I'll give you my van. - Not your ride.
- I'm serious, dude. - Where is it?
- It's right there. - There.
- No thanks. - Idiot!
Hey, fuck you, dude!
That van has an excellent tape deck!
Enjoy your leather pants, you fuckin' butt-hole!
That was beautiful, man.
You're so dedicated to Metallica that you were willing to sacrifice your ride.
Man, you lost your virginity in that van.
No, dude. I'm still a virgin.
- What about Lisa Cummings? - I only got a hand job.
Ah, fuck.
Exactly, man. What do we got?
Our lives are shit.
So that's why it is our birthright at the end of the workweek...
to get messed up and go hear fucking Metallica!
Metallica! Metallica!
I'm getting you into this concert, man.
The chances of a fatal accident increase threefold...
with a blood alcohol level of over. 20.
- Come on up, man. It's easy. - Combined with another drug, such as marijuana...
the likelihood increases 10 times.
Come on, man. You can do it.
Use the power of the music.
Thank you.
Dude, I'm in, man! I'm in!
Aaah! Fuck! Shit!
- Dude, help me out! - What?
- Help me, man! Help me! - Holy shit.
Help me, man! Help me!
- Use that Popeye strength from your mama. - Yeah!
Help me, man. Help me!
Goddamn!
Oh, shit!
- Simon! - I'm okay!
The tree, like, caught me.
Oh, yeah. I love that part. Yeah.
All right, dude, I'm gonna get the rope.
No, man. I think I'm pretty close to the ground.
I don't know, dude. It looks pretty far.
It's bushes, man. I can make it.
No, dude. Come on.
I'm gonna cut myself free...
and then the bushes'll catch me.
When you fall just be loose, like stage diving.
- Right. - And try not to fall on your head.
Hey. Can you shine that light down again? I want to light a bone.
Dude, I'm tokin' simultaneously.
Yeah, man.
- Ah! - Oh, shit.
Simon!
Fuck, man! You trying to kill me?
Sorry, dude. What's the situation?
I think it's pretty fucked up, man!
- These are, like, sticker bushes! - Damn.
- Didn't fall on my head. - Right on.
I got an idea.
I'm gonna tie the rope to the bumper of the van. I'm gonna throw it over to you, all right?
Then I'll just ease you up, all right?
The other risk factor with simultaneous drug use...
- is seriously impaired judgment. - Sounds like a plan.
- More, dude. - You got it?
Yeah. Yeah, I got it! I got it!
Ah, fuck.
Oh, shit. Aah.
Dude!
Dude.
Listen. We stopped the music.
The boy in the van survived.
His friend was not so lucky.
Gotta make a phone call.
Fuck.
This is purely for investigative purposes.
What the hell are you doing?
Research.
Ah. Well, good to see you're holdin' up.
- Neither of them is a second child. - So?
So that was the one solid trait I had linking the cases.
Look, with the amount of money you're saving Simmons and the company...
believe me, you're gonna get the job.
A new job... doesn't matter anymore.
If I'm gonna find a way to prevent these deaths...
I have to know why they do it.
I'll tell you why.
Do you know that companies intentionally build in mistakes to monthly bills...
hoping you won't notice, just so they can save a few pennies?
And insurance firms, like the one I work for...
we have a... policy...
of rejecting every claim right off the bat.
And if you call to dispute that claim...
you get put on hold.
And then you get sent through an endless maze of voice mail menus...
until you just give up.
All these minor insults, they build up over the years.
Finally, people just... People just lose their shit.
And you feel...
powerless and faceless, and...
and you end up strapping a JATO rocket to the back of your Chevy.
Let's get you some coffee.
Oh, uh, coffee, regular.
"You can't beat me."
So illiterate for a lit major.
Well, a lit major. Maybe it's a quote.
Nah, not a quote.
Did you hear that one about the guys ice fishing using dynamite?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, with the dog. - Exactly. Yeah.
What about the guy who takes a rocket and bolts it onto the car?
- Yeah. He did a thousand miles an hour. - I heard 2,000.
- You've gotta be kidding me. - I swear.
Harvey Wedstone.
What?
He had a name, and it was Harvey Wedstone.
And he had something you'll never have...
- an imagination. - Un-Unstable.
How about I don't give a shit?
You will.
No!
Can you see me?
Yeah.
Where are we?
Oh, we're in my room.
Where's the numb-nuts?
- I locked him in the bathroom. - Please let me out.
Oh, my God. Are you still high?
'Cause this stuff is kinda strong.
I don't know. I've never been high before.
It's kinda cool.
You know, I... saw the boy's face.
And it was like I was one of them.
- I'm starting to worry about you, Burrows. - Why?
You gotta learn to detach from these people.
Just let them go.
- Well, I can't. - Oh. Be careful there.
- I'm not like you. - What do you mean?
Look at yourself, Siri.
The body of that boy in the morgue...
You acted like he was just some piece of meat.
Well, you know... I was doing my job. That's my job.
You've been doing this for four weeks and look what it's done to you.
You've gone from... ...from robot to rehab candidate.
Well, I've been doing it for 10 years.
And I've been doing it alone.
- Siri, I'm sorry. - I'm just not gonna sit here like you...
and photographically remember every single death.
I remember good things too.
On December 3, 10:45 a.m...
your arm brushed against my shoulder...
as we ate at the restaurant.
On December 13, after dinner...
your hand rested on mine for a moment...
as you got in the car.
Yesterday, at 5:45 p.m...
This is gold, baby.
Ah, shit.
Oh, it's you. How'd you get out?
- She had to take a shower. - Oh.
I think she might be in the restaurant actually.
Damn, she's...
- Okay, okay. - Nice to meet you. Thank you for the coffee.
- Hey. How's it goin'? - Good. Good.
- What's going on? - What? Do...
Come on, Burrows.
Last night was... stress relief.
You know, we were both on edge.
A little reefer involved.
It was more than just stress relief.
Um, you know what? Don't you have, like...
less than five days to finish your project or else...
How did you put it? "My life will be over."
Sorry.
You know, we're not the kind of people who can...
you know, do that or have that or whatever.
You think I don't know people.
You're wrong.
That was my specialty...
Analyzing a personality, anticipating what their ultimate mistake's gonna be.
Your father left you between the ages of four and five.
Just old enough to have a memory of him, but it's fuzzy.
Fuzzy enough that you can project him onto every man you encounter.
Fear of rejection causes you to work long hours, have a job where you move constantly.
It keeps attachments to a minimum.
Unless it's a one-night stand.
You like those 'cause you can control the situation.
That way you can always be the one who does the leaving.
Tell me, genius.
What is my ultimate mistake gonna be?
You'll do this pattern too long...
To the point where you can't do anything else but be alone.
Ow. Ow! I cut myself.
You know what? I know what your problem is, Burrows.
You're faint of heart.
Find yourself another partner, because I quit.
You okay, man?
Uh, I guess I am.
You've got to snap out of it, man. Seriously.
You guys didn't get along anyway.
- I guess. - I'm Mike Sugerman with Bay News Channel 1.
San Francisco Police say the North Beach killer may have struck again.
The body of a young 25-to-35-year-old woman was found here at...
Son of a bitch!
There were no other witnesses.
Couple at the restaurant, they were... ...they were reading books.
You don't see that much anymore.
When I arrested the perp, I was comin' out of a bookstore.
- You travel with your tapes? - Yeah.
- All of them? - Yeah.
Fast-forward. Fast-forward.
Slow it down.
Freeze the frame. Zoom in.
- "Howl." - What's "Howl"?
A famous book by one of the beat poets.
Beat poets.
"You can't beat me."
The plans have changed. We're going to San Francisco.
Entering a crime scene or tampering with evidence is a felony.
I don't recommend it.
Nothing's changed.
I'm here 'cause numb-nuts called me and said you were about to do something stupid.
- Sorry. - Manipulator. Interferer.
Why don't you just sell out and move to Hollywood right now?
Listen, this is not your responsibility.
- Just call the police. - They won't even let me in the station.
And this woman, she's dead 'cause I let him go.
- You can't even go in there. - I'll need another set of eyes.
Footprints. Do you see any?
Um, yeah, and they're huge.
Good. Do you see any writing anywhere?
Just the menu.
Well, what does it say?
It's so obvious.
The book by Ferlinghetti. Coney Island of the Mind.
Hey. Look what I found.
That's great.
But he was referring to this book by Ferlinghetti...
not some tourist guide.
Well, why don't we just go talk to this Ferlinghetti guy directly?
- That's a great idea. - Thank you.
You don't just go talk to Lawrence Ferlinghetti.
Well, it says right here that he owns this bookstore.
Um, is this guy here by any chance?
No.
I think he's having a drink over at Tosca.
- Buy me this? - Fuck off.
Sir, have you ever seen this man?
Oh, yeah. That guy.
- He was a real wannabe beat. - What do you mean?
Well, he filled endless notebooks with endless poems...
and nobody would publish them, including myself.
You can imagine how the poor guy felt.
I don't think this man feels anything.
Well, as the man says, "Only the dead are disconnected."
I remember him. He was a real asshole.
Do-Do you have, uh... Any idea where we could find him?
I haven't seen him in years.
I do remember that he was absolutely obsessed...
with Brautigan's Trout Fishing in America.
Fishing for clues. Of course.
When Brautigan was alive, he used to camp outside Brautigan's office.
It was really creepy.
Are you talking about that office above the bar just right across from City Lights?
Vesuvio's. That was the place.
That's a great book, by the way.
Okay, now it really is time to call the cops.
It's not like TV. You can't break in without a warrant.
For the conviction to stick, we need evidence linking him to the murder.
Yeah, but you just said we can't break in.
Remember those guys at the rock concert? Their idea with the rope?
- Do you remember what happened to them? - They were on drugs.
Precisely my point.
Listen, it'd be a good idea to have some way to record the evidence.
Siri, when I see the evidence, I'll give you a thumbs-up.
- Okay. Then I call 911. - Shh.
Yeah.
Bingo.
What the hell are you doing? How did you get down here?
Oh, I tied on to the other end of the rope.
That is too much weight.
Okay, maybe you're right.
Damn it! Damn right I'm right.
Are you okay? What should I do?
The rope is slipping. Go up on the roof and secure it.
Okay.
No. No. Siri! Don't go up on the roof!
Shit!
I'm only gonna tell you this once.
Call 911 now.
Salutations.
No!
- You talked to Ferlinghetti. - You can't!
- Don't give 'em more evidence! - I don't think I am.
You see, I happen to remember your peculiar frailty.
- No! Don't! - Ow! Fucker!
Oh, the world is a beautiful place to be born into...
if you don't much mind a few dead minds in the higher places...
or a bomb or two now and then in your upturned faces.
Burrows.
- Catch. - Oh, shit!
Oh, shit!
Are you... Numb-nuts.
You could've just let me fall. Why did you hold on?
Instinct.
I didn't wanna be saved, you fucking cretin.
Okay.
We shall go no more a-roving.
Is he gonna be all right?
He's got a concussion. I'm gonna take him over to S.F. General.
Well, can we ride with him at least?
No, sorry. We got no room in the ambulance.
In fact, buddy, you're gonna have to leave your camera here with your friends.
Well, then I'm not going.
Believe me. You are never gonna win that argument.
Come on. Let him keep the camera.
I mean, what's the harm?
- Insurance, for one. - Insurance? Oh. Fuck the insurance.
I didn't see anything.
All right.
Well, you got the job if you want it.
But I never found any common trait for the X-Factor.
Tomorrow there's gonna be another 10,000 accidents, another thousand murders...
A hundred thousand coronaries.
Burrows.
It is not your job to save the entire world.
That's impossible.
You're right. Maybe the world's not such a dangerous place.
Oh, damn. I missed it.
- So what are you makin'?... - Oh, it's a documentary.
- Yeah? On what? - Uh, paramedics.
- No way. Really? - Just keep going about your job as if I'm not here.
Just pretend I'm invisible.
Cool, man.
You need anything? You all right? You cool?
No, dude. I'm just happy to be here.
- I feel sorry for you. You don't look so hot. - Can I ask one question?
- What the hell were you thinking? - Hey, you know.
Sex, drugs and rock and roll, dude.
You should just focus on the sex and rock and roll and forget about the drugs, huh?
Actually, you could probably forget about the sex too.
Stick to rock and roll, dude.
Appreciate it.
And this next song goes out...
to a dearly departed friend, Simon.
I fucking did something!
You minimum-wage asshole!
Your father's lost his mind again.
Too much Satan for one hand.
Damn!
Oh, fuck.
I think I'm really getting the hang of this now.
We shall go no more a-roving.
Wait...
Get away from there!
No, Max!
It's not all doughnuts and broads.
Making me... Ah! God!
Are you okay?
Okay, maybe you're right.
Pathetic!
"Only the dead are disconnected."
Michael? Hello? Is this Michael?
Should I dress up? Were you thinking about going to someplace that's upscale?
Because I'll have to go home and change into something else...
because all I have is my work clothes, and I don't wanna go someplace...
Hello? Hello?
Hello?